


This isn't goodbye

by No_Sndr



Category: Fate: The Winx Saga (TV)
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Light Angst, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-18 12:00:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29733558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/No_Sndr/pseuds/No_Sndr
Summary: We know that Saul has been infected for a whole week in episode 3 and when he said to Sky that Farah knew about his wishes for his future, I wondered how that conversation went.  So here is my take on that missing scene!
Relationships: Farah Dowling & Saul Silva, Farah Dowling/Saul Silva, Silrah - Relationship
Comments: 10
Kudos: 83





	This isn't goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for your lovely feedback on "Here, now", it really got me motivated to write more about these two :) Again, English is not my mother tongue so I apologize for any mistakes.

There was a light knock on her office door, and Farah did not need to open it to know who was behind it. Saul had paid her enough late-night visits for her to recognize the sound that his knuckles made on her door. She opened it and moved aside to let him in. 

"I went to your suite, but you weren't there. Late night again?" he questioned.

"I can't really sleep so I might as well do something useful,” she explained, as she leaned back on her desk, half sitting on it. “How are you?” she asked, frowning. She had seen Ben this morning and he had told her about Saul’s infection getting more virulent despite the high doses of Zanbaq he gave him.

“I’m okay,” he answered a little hesitant, “You know, considering.” Farah smiled sadly at this, not exactly sure of what she could say. How do you cheer up someone with a deadly infection spreading faster each passing hour? 

Saul pulled a white envelope from the pocket inside his jacket and hesitantly gave it to her. “What is this?” she asked. She started to open it and was about to read the piece of paper when he finally spoke.

“I’ve written down everything I want for Sky. For his education and his future. I’ve also written the name of a few people who could replace me. Marco’s the obvious choice but you never know.” Farah stood up straight as she listened to him, eyes widening as a sudden mix of fear and anger rose in her chest.

“We’re not having this conversation,” she stated strongly, her voice trembling slightly. 

“We are, Farah.” He glanced up to her, and despite his voice being merely louder than a whisper, his tone was firm. “It’s been five days already.”

She had to admit that she did not think it would have taken so long to Marco, Noura and their team to track the Burned One and kill it. They had been in their shoes in the past and she knew how tricky it could be, but she could not help herself feeling a bit annoyed with them. She still managed to keep her negative thoughts in check as long as everyone remained hopeful, but having Saul coming to her to talk about what would happen after his hypothetical death certainly did not help.

She crossed her arm in front of her chest, as to shield herself from the pain this conversation could inflict her, before answering, “I thought you trusted them to kill it.”

“I do,” he sighed, “I just don’t know if they’ll be quick enough now.”

She scoffed, “And that’s your solution? Coming here and exposing me your almost dead man’s wishes?” She did her best to control her emotions since they brought him back from the forest, never giving in to the utter fear that lived in her guts ever since, nor to her yearning to hold him close and never let him go. Yet, she could not prevent her voice from raising as everything she had kept bottled up for the last few days began to unleash.

“What do you want me to do?” Saul asked, his voice raising in frustration, “It’s not like I can go out there and chase it down myself. I’m not exactly in my best shape, in case you didn’t notice.”

She pursed her lips then, a bit ashamed of focusing on her own feelings and the injustice of the situation when _he_ was the one slowly dying. How fair was it for him?

She leaned back down on her desk and whispered, “I know. Sorry I snapped, I just…” She shook her head, looking at the floor, unable to find her words.

Saul softened as he looked at her, head bent down. “I know… I don’t particularly enjoy doing this but it’s the only thing I have control over right now. Making sure everything is planned.” Farah nodded in response. Rationally, she understood why he was doing it: Saul was a soldier and soldiers had to be ready for every possible scenario, not matter how unpleasant it was. Emotionally though, it was something else entirely.

"How's he doing? Did you talk to him about this?" she asked.

"No, not yet. I'll wait until the very last moment, I think. Hopefully I won't have to… He's putting up a brave face but he's worried, I can see it," he explained.

She hummed in response. She had noticed it too; Sky was a good student overall but for the last few days, he carried a haunted look everywhere he went and was everything but focused. She could not blame him, though.

“You did a good job raising him, you know?” she smiled softly, “He's a good kid."

Saul silently nodded and she could tell he was moved by the compliment. “Farah, if the worst-case scenario is the only outcome here...” He shifted his weight on his right leg, and it looked like he was debating whether he would say anything more. "You'll look out of him, right? I mean I know he can take care of himself but he still gonna need someone sometimes."

She felt her heart clenching as he uttered his request, but it is the hint of fear on his face that made it sink in her chest. He looked so vulnerable there, his piercing gaze questioning her. "I will. Of course I will," she breathed. She had promised him she would be there for them after Andreas' death and she intended to keep that promise. Even if she never thought she would have to do so without Saul around.

He had closed his eyes in relief when she had answered and muttered, "Thank you".

She let out a long sigh and asked "Is it too late for a drink?"

"It's never too late for a glass of your not-so-secretly stashed rum," he grinned.

"Well I've never heard you complain about it," she chuckled. She went behind her desk and opened the bottom left drawer, revealing a half-empty bottle of golden brown liquor and four small glasses. She took two of them out and poured them both what she felt was a well-deserved drink. She handed him a glass as they sat on the sofa and they quietly took the first sip.

Farah broke the silence first. "I can feel it, you know? The infection." Saul looked up from his glass, confused. "I feel it spreading faster and stronger. I'm not even trying to, I just do," she shrugged. She had started feeling a strange tingly sensation in her veins this morning, but she had not immediately understood what it meant. It is only after she had talked to Ben that she had put two and two together.

"Goddamn bond, uh?" he said with a grin, cocking his head.

She raised her glass to that and laughed lightly, "Goddamn bond." That special link between fairy and specialist was a great mystery for everyone in their world; nobody had ever been able to explain how it was possible to have a connection so deep that you could _actually_ feel the other. And yet, here they were.

Farah took another gulp to give her the courage to ask something that had been on her mind since he had arrived. "Has Ben said something about... how long..?"

"We can't know for sure,” he answered, “Too many parameters to take into account, but…” He hesitated there and her throat tightened; instantly sensing that what would follow would not be pleasant. “He said a couple days, maybe three," he added, looking down on his glass.

Her lungs deflated and her shoulders slumped as she exhaled, shocked, "Shit, Saul…"

"Yeah, that sums it up," he chuckled humorlessly, eyes still fixed on his half-empty glass. 

She felt the tears gathering behind her eyes and did her best to prevent them from falling but her constant state of worry, the lack of sleep and now, the unbearable reality of the situation they were in… It was all too much. They obviously still had time to find and kill the creature, and she perfectly knew that this conversation was based on hypothesis only, but right now she felt rather defeated and hopeless. Truth be told, she had always been quite the pessimist, unlike Saul who was her polar opposite. They balanced each other out and always managed between the two of them to see things in a much more grounded, realistic way. That is also why it was getting harder for her to keep her hopes up; talking about Saul’s death as something bound to happen pretty soon was the epitome of negativity and it made her spiral down fast. Her left hand grabbed the edge of the seat in an attempt to control the lump in her throat, but it was getting bigger and bigger and she found herself looking down, eyes tearing.

Saul looked up to her after a few seconds and moved closer when he saw the damp streaks on her cheeks. "Come on, no tears,” he said, as he brushed them off. “I'm still here and I plan on staying a pain in your ass for a lot longer,” he added, grinning.

"Lucky me!" she exclaimed, a proper, genuine laugh coming out of her.

He beamed at the sight and grabbed her hand. "I'll be fine, Farah. They'll find it soon and it'll be over in a blink," he promised, and he sounded so certain of it that it almost convinced her. He was right, they still had time to find the Burned One and they surely would; they were well-trained and there was a whole team versus only one creature. Farah smiled weakly and squeezed his hand in reassurance. He’ll be alright. He had to be.

She stifled a yawn then, and Saul jumped on his feet saying, “Come on, that the signal for bedtime, Headmitress.” He finished his drink in a big gulp and added, “I'll walk you to your suite otherwise you'll probably stay here anyway after I leave."

She put an innocent look on her face, hand on her chest in a falsely shocked fashion, and replied, "That doesn't sound like me at all!"

The atmosphere was lighter as they walked to Farah’s suite laughing, their shoulders slightly bumping and, for a moment there, it felt like any of the countless late nights they had spent in her office, washing off the stress of the day with a quick drink and good company. When they reached their destination, they stopped at the door and faced each other. Farah did not say anything; she was not exactly willing to give up on the comforting normality of the moment only to find herself alone with her thoughts again. 

Saul broke the silence and said with a soft smile, "Well, thanks for the drink. And... everything else."

She had the feeling that he did not just mean her promise to look after Sky and that it carried a deeper, heavier meaning, but she refused to go there. _This isn't goodbye_ , she thought.

She gave him a wistful smile and answered, "Anytime," tilting her head. A strand of hair fell from of her elaborate hairstyle and came to rest on her cheek, an indication of how long that day had been. Saul silently put it behind her ear and gently cupped her cheek, as if she were the most precious thing in the universe and he feared to break her. He could never break her, she thought, he is the one putting her pieces back together.

The look in Saul's icy grey eyes made her shiver and she was suddenly very aware of how close they were. She had seen that look before, and she knew it well because what she perceived in it was simply the reflection of her own feelings, but the intensity of it absolutely terrified her. He closed the tiny gap between them and slowly covered her lips with his in a tender, loving kiss. A burst of electricity traveled across her spine as she grasped the hem of his jacket, trying to pull him even closer, but Saul broke the kiss and rested his forehead on hers for a few seconds, his thumb lightly stroking her cheekbone.

He stepped away then and whispered, "Goodnight", before walking away.

Farah stepped inside her room and sat on the edge of her bed, trying to soothe the whirlwind of thoughts and emotions stirring her whole being. It was not the first time they had kissed, and each and every time had been a vibrant testimony of their feelings for each other; both trying to convey the depth of their love and their desperate, visceral need of the other. This one was no exception.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I think I'll always write them in this headcanon for the time being, I love the idea that a lot has happened between them but they never actually got together. I sure love a good angsty slow burn! Feel free to leave a kudo and let me know what you think in the comments. I really hope you enjoyed it :)


End file.
